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About Us
Why HeroDads Is Here
The Bower Family,
circa 2003
Some
amazing facts about dads in the United States:
[1]
- 86% say the rewards of fatherhood
trump those of a career.
- 89% approve of leaving fast-track
careers to spend more time with family.
- 88% wish fathers were more
supportive of each other in their roles as dads.
- 90% say becoming a father made them
want to be a better person and role model for their kids.
HeroDads came into existence for
one purpose: to help dads become more heroic in their families’
eyes. By heroic we do not mean the empty, unattainable sense of
a “Superhero” or a Hollywood action star. We mean it in the
noble, achievable sense of a genuine commitment of a father to
lead boldly and connect relationally with his wife, sons and
daughters, by the help of God.
Our objective is to provide adventures
worthy of a dad wanting that kind of heart. He’s courageous
enough to run
 counter to our workaholic culture. Making enough time to capture the hearts of his kids by engaging and
challenging activities. Seeking to live with a gentle and humble
heart of an uncompromising follower of the Lord. A real HeroDad.
Yet in his honest moments, the Everyday Dad
sometimes feels more like a zero than a hero.
We’ve shared in that struggle for 20 years in our own family. No
one arrives in this life, but we can all press on and encourage
each other to stay in the race. In our family, we make more than
our share of mistakes. But out of those failures, fresh ideas
come to share with other dads. That’s why we are here. We want
to provide practical tools and meaningful strategies to assist
him in winning the hearts of his children.
This is why we sell HeroDads
Toolkits. These include HeroDads Guidebooks to
help fathers know how to connect with their kids in
  the midst of their busy lives--Family Fun Nights, Play at the Park, Outdoor
Adventures, etc. Each kit includes a variety of products aimed
at helping Dad create an environment full of fun...everything
from water balloon launchers to Frisbee golf to Airzooka
Tag...but that also has a spiritual dynamic to it. So, we offer
literature challenging Dad and his sons and daughters to “raise up the age old foundations” (Isaiah
58:12) of godly character. We bring these at the lowest cost
possible because our real goal is to help fathers in their most
important job: becoming the relationally sensitive, spiritually
alert leaders of their homes.
Even when he’s worn down from his
work week, these Kits can help an Everyday Dad shed his fatigue
and be renewed in the joy of relating to his kids, both young
and old! They contain the ideas to inspire and the tools to
equip—to jump-start him into moving “from zero to hero” in
his family’s eyes!
In the near future, we also intend to
present HeroDads Adventures in churches and community
centers. We plan to give dads and their kids an unforgettable
experience together, like the best of a youth meeting, but with
a “new” (biblical) twist: Dad is learning to be his kids’ “youth
leader!” Imagine the chance to try out our most amazing products
and most outrageous activities with your own children. They may
never look at their Everyday Dad the same—“He’s a HeroDad!”
Our goal is to inspire and equip fellow-struggler fathers in
the daunting yet delightful task of connecting in intimate
relationships with our children. Through these events, we hope
to lift with you a chorus of voices to “raise up a standard”
for the
 Lord (see Isaiah 49:22).
“From Zero to Hero…”
or, Who We Are and How We Got
Here
The Bower Family began this ministry & tentmaking venture in 2003, but it really goes back 30 years. I
(Dave) became a Christian back in the spring of 1973. Coming
from a typical, relationally disconnected home—a “dial-tone”
existence—I was hungry for real depth of meaning. So the Lord
Jesus Christ drew me to Himself by the genuine love I saw in the
lives of believers around me. His truth set me free to begin to
truly care for others. I grew rapidly spiritually, and ended up
being looked upon as a leader by those in my church while I
completed my B.S. in engineering at UCLA. Eventually, I decided
to enter full-time ministry, and earned my Master of Divinity
degree at Western Seminary in Portland, Oregon, where I met my
wife, Karen.
I found my niche ministering to college
students, and we enjoyed several thrilling years in campus
evangelism and discipleship. But I knew I was putting off a
decision which, in a confused corner of my heart, I wanted to
postpone indefinitely: kids…of my own. They looked inconvenient,
messy, time-consuming…definitely not part of my grandiose plans
for world evangelism!
After five years of marriage, still caught
up in my own selfish bubble, I actually asked my wife Karen to
write out a list of reasons why we should have children. Any
children at all…not to mention a “full quiver”…the mere
thought of more than one or two made me shiver! Talk about lack
of vision on my part! I had no idea of the blessings the Lord
held out for a family walking in His ways. (See Psalm 127, 128.)
Actually, I was just desperately stalling for time. The notion
of crying babies with dirty diapers, and then toddlers to take
on endless walks to look at pill bugs while they murmured
unintelligible multi-syllables…this had me panicked. Parenthood
looked like The Black Hole, ready to vacuum up every spare
moment I could devote to “higher purposes.”
Yet, as Israel Wayne of Wisdom’s Gate (http://www.wisdomsgate.org)
noted in a recent conversation, “Being married and having
children has given me much more spiritual maturity.” Israel sees
today what neither he nor I saw in our pre-marriage/family zeal:
The Lord uses our wives and children to slow down our frantic
pace and deepen us. “I know what I know more deeply,” Israel
observed. “Now when I speak, I speak from my gut; it is so
much more true to me.”
The Lord put me on a similar path beginning
about two years after our first son, Michael, was born. I
remember the Lord speaking to me through a familiar text, but
with an unfamiliar slant: Luke 1:17, quoting Malachi 4:6—the
very lasts verse of the Old Testament, speaking of John the
Baptist’s ministry:
And he will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children,
And the hearts of the children to their fathers
Lest I come and smite the land with a curse.
I remember wondering, “What does it
really mean to turn my heart toward home?” I would ponder that
phrase, and it would fill me with longing, but I couldn’t make
sense of it. It simply wasn’t part of my worldview. Due to my
“dial-tone” experience of family growing up, I had no idea what
incredible blessings I was missing out on by unconsciously
repeating the relational sterility I had known.
 Over
time, this sterility caught up with me. I began to see cracks in
the foundations of my great ambitions for “church growth.” I
lacked the relational skills in my tool chest to deal with the
immense pressures of associate-pastor administration of a
medium-large church that had quintupled in size since I arrived.
Outwardly successful yet inwardly in turmoil, my wife described
me as arriving home day after day looking “ashen” from the
tension and at times conflict I endured—and caused—by the holes
in my character. Things which God had intended me to learn
through family relationships where simply missing…like critical
pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. I just couldn’t make out the big
picture of what the Lord wanted for me in relationships, and
that home was where he wanted me to return.
After 15 years of struggling I
still had little real biblical understanding of family
relationships as the foundation of relationships in the church
(1 Tim.3:4). So the Lord called me out of full-time vocational
Christian service to begin digging down to rebuild on that
bedrock. Karen and I went through several false starts in a
journey of discovery, as the Lord cleared away the relational
rubble and began rebuilding our family. First, He cast a vision
for home discipling, over a period of about 7 years. Next, we
gained from Him a vision of what church can be if it is focused
on father-led family discipleship, finally landing in a
fellowship of likeminded believers, Hope Family Chapel, in
Fallbrook (north San Diego County), California.
Over the last 15 years, I have seen
the Lord rebuilding in our family a vision for fathers being the
relationally skilled, spiritually sensitive, bold servant
leaders of their homes. This has grown into a life calling for
me, together with my three oldest sons. We want to pass on to
other dads struggling with connecting with their kids the
relational blessing of the gospel and the joy-filled fun of
relationships it carries with it!
So, to sum up, I saw the Lord take
me through 15 years of “divine demotions” where He un-built my
false ideas about family. At my lowest point I chose to start a
window cleaning company simply in obedience to the Lord’s call
to maximize my time with my family. Then He took me through 15
years of rebuilding by experience a biblical worldview of family
as the foundation of His kingdom plans for ministry.
As King David
said, (Psalm 11:3)
If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?
And Isaiah
answers for the Lord, (58:12)
And those from among you will rebuild the ancient ruins
[of
struggling families]
You will raise up the age-old foundations
[the “ancient
paths” of godly character]
And you will be called the repairer of the breach
[broken
church relationships]
The restorer of the streets in which to dwell
[touching
whole communities]
Our purpose is this: to help
men regain a vision of themselves as the relational-spiritual
leaders of their homes, so they may equip the next generation to
be a blessing to their families and a light to the nations
(see Isaiah 42:6, 49:6, 51:4).
I am keenly aware that in myself I
have nothing to offer, only what the Lord gives me. And all that
I have to say came through the influence of many men, not the
least of whom is my soul-mate and friend, Don Miller, pastor of
Hope Family Chapel. We know we are but one of many voices, but
we want to use that one voice, for God's glory (Ps.115:1).
So, this past year, we took a step
of faith. I was in a secure job as a public school teacher with
full tenure, good pay, great benefits, etc. But the Lord has put
it on our hearts to pursue this venture together and trust Him
to provide (Matt.6:33-34). We have given ourselves to launching
this combination ministry and “tentmaking.” HeroDads is
aimed at passing on hard-won lessons of fathering from our lives
and those we fellowship with, to other garden-variety dads like
us.
I feel very inadequate, yet
strangely confident in the Lord in this direction (see
2Cor.3:4-6). I have asked the Lord to lead us through the
Body of Christ’s affirmation and feel He has confirmed it in
several ways.
HeroDads simply provides a venue for encouraging fathers to
become the noble shepherds over their families the Lord intends
them to be. Our focus is on providing “tools” to help fill in
the “holes” that exist in many men’s relational “tool chests.”
Our desire is to make it easier to regain these lost tools of
fathering by offering ready-made “HeroDads Toolkits”
complete with HeroDads Guidebooks which give strategies
for their effective use.
We plan to share this vision
through
HeroDads Adventures , demonstrating
how practically to utilize these Toolkits and strategies
in families. It is our ambition to offer this Good News to
hungry hearts without charge, as the Lord leads and opens doors
for speaking opportunities (Isaiah 55:1-5). Yet I continue to
tell my sons, “I have resolved to speak about what it means to
be a HeroDad only to the extent that you regard me as your
hero.”
We sincerely hope that you will
join us in this venture, offering your hand and lifting your
voice to raise up the standard the Lord wants to see among His
people…men leading their families with the gentleness and
humility of Christ and the boldness of His Spirit.
“And as for me this is My
covenant with them, says the Lord: “My Spirit which is upon you,
and My words which I have put in your mouth, shall not depart
from your mouth, nor from the mouth of your offspring, nor from
the mouth of your offspring’s offspring,” says the Lord, “from
now and forever.”(Isaiah 59:21)
And all your sons will be taught
of the Lord;
And the well-being of your sons
will be great (Isaiah 54:13)
So the Lord God will cause
righteousness and praise
To spring up before all the
nations. (Isaiah 61:11)
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